Human beings were created for association, not for isolation.
No one can function at his highest level of potential alone. I have said over the years that “you need at least one person to be invincible.” The people around us are like mirrors that show us what we really look like on the outside. If two or more people are behaving towards you in rather unfriendly ways, it should give you cause for concern. Don’t play arrogant by shutting down your senses toward the obvious displeasure they exhibit; give it some thought and do something about it.
In this post, we will discuss the next three laws of disfavor in measurable details then we will cap it in the next and final post. Here we go…
Law 4: Ingratitude
If you can think you can thank. Gratitude is not just an act; it is an expression from the heart. The super thing about gratitude is that it must come from the heart and must reach the heart of the recipient. You know that there is a way you can say “thank you” that the other party knows you are just engaging in mouth exercise. In my local dialect, there is an adage that says that “Sorry has both male and female genders.” That is true of gratitude. Gratitude must stem from the heart, otherwise it is useless.
Ingratitude costs a lot. Dr. Mike Murdock says, “Loss is the cure for ingratitude” and that translates into so many areas. When someone shows ingratitude, the person loses favor, future opportunities, respect and trust (if there ever was any). Ingratitude is an expression of loss or lack of value for what one has. Ingrates are generally people who communize what they have, and they pay immeasurably for that. If it seems that others don’t like you, you should look within to see if you have recently displayed ingratitude for something done. Also check to see if your display of gratitude truly reached the heart of the person in question. When a person notices that you are not deeply grateful about a thing he or she has done for you, most often they reserve their comments and never offer you anything again. That is disfavor. If they speak about it, they will conclude based on how you respond to their complaint.
Clarence Francis quipped, “You can buy a man’s time…But you cannot buy enthusiasm…you cannot buy loyalty…you must earn these.” Ingratitude will make this already herculean task an impossible one.
Law 5: Irresponsibility
There is a statement made by Praise Fowowe that I have as a favorite: “Your irresponsibility may be personal but it is never private.” Know this: every act of irresponsibility costs someone else something that may be really valuable to them. Some of the most valuable costs of another person’s irresponsibility are their reputation, favor with the mutual relationship, money, opportunities et al. this I believe is one big reason why people tend to behave unpleasantly toward irresponsible people. Besides not wanting to be publicly associated with such people, this is a capital reason for the disfavor battering many people today.
Are your closest relationships complaining about certain attitudes, tendencies, habits or behavior in you? Those may very well be your final dosage of favor. Your refusal to adjust may be costing them so much – much more than you could think. And it will definitely affect their relationship with you. Folks who live irresponsibly never take into consideration how their irresponsibility is affecting the people closest to them. They are just so selfishly living life as though they are alone in this world. If you are in a situation where people don’t seem to like you, you need to examine yourself if you are really living responsibly. If you are guilty in this respect, you will do well to make adjustments pretty fast. Don’t think for a moment that despite your irresponsible lifestyle, they will have pity on you in your time of trouble; you will be at the brink of utmost ruin before you find a life saver. So the earlier you adjust the better.
Law 6: Discontentment
A discontent soul is a maniac. Like a raging flame, a discontent man or woman keeps looking for more at whatever cost; even if it means losing what one already has. A good number of extra-marital affairs are rooted in this silent but deadly plague. Discontentment says, “I don’t appreciate what I have. It is not good enough, it is not enough, I need more!” Discontentment is twin to greed. In fact, they one and same. Discontent people look down on what they have, trod on it, and go out in search of what they believe will satisfy their craving. At the end of the day, they realize they have only been foolish. After losing what they truly had for what only offered short-lived pleasure, they nurse the regret and pain that comes with loss.
Fundamentally, anybody with corroded set of values finds it difficult to be contented with what they have. In marriage, men are advised to “let her breasts satisfy you always” meaning that there is a natural and common tendency for you to not be satisfied and want another or more. That tells that there is a conscious effort involved in contentment. You have to intentionally “let that thing you have” satisfy you. How you feel notwithstanding, give yourself no other option. When those around us notice discontentment in us, they naturally get turned off which births disfavor for us. Discontentment usually and will always bring disfavor. The heavy question is: Are you discontent with something you have?
Check yourself and be honest in your evaluation.
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Your comments, personal experiences and observations are welcome.
To your effectiveness,
Adeleke David (Mr. Effectiveness)