WHAT TO DO WHEN PEOPLE DON’T SEEM TO LIKE YOU (2)

Human beings were created for association, not for isolation.

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No one can function at his highest level of potential alone. I have said over the years that “you need at least one person to be invincible.” The people around us are like mirrors that show us what we really look like on the outside. If two or more people are behaving towards you in rather unfriendly ways, it should give you cause for concern. Don’t play arrogant by shutting down your senses toward the obvious displeasure they exhibit; give it some thought and do something about it.

In this post, we will discuss the next three laws of disfavor in measurable details then we will cap it in the next and final post. Here we go…

Law 4: Ingratitude

If you can think you can thank. Gratitude is not just an act; it is an expression from the heart. The super thing about gratitude is that it must come from the heart and must reach the heart of the recipient. You know that there is a way you can say “thank you” that the other party knows you are just engaging in mouth exercise. In my local dialect, there is an adage that says that “Sorry has both male and female genders.” That is true of gratitude. Gratitude must stem from the heart, otherwise it is useless.

Ingratitude costs a lot. Dr. Mike Murdock says, “Loss is the cure for ingratitude” and that translates into so many areas. When someone shows ingratitude, the person loses favor, future opportunities, respect and trust (if there ever was any). Ingratitude is an expression of loss or lack of value for what one has. Ingrates are generally people who communize what they have, and they pay immeasurably for that. If it seems that others don’t like you, you should look within to see if you have recently displayed ingratitude for something done. Also check to see if your display of gratitude truly reached the heart of the person in question. When a person notices that you are not deeply grateful about a thing he or she has done for you, most often they reserve their comments and never offer you anything again. That is disfavor. If they speak about it, they will conclude based on how you respond to their complaint.

Clarence Francis quipped, “You can buy a man’s time…But you cannot buy enthusiasm…you cannot buy loyalty…you must earn these.” Ingratitude will make this already herculean task an impossible one.

Law 5: Irresponsibility

There is a statement made by Praise Fowowe that I have as a favorite: “Your irresponsibility may be personal but it is never private.” Know this: every act of irresponsibility costs someone else something that may be really valuable to them. Some of the most valuable costs of another person’s irresponsibility are their reputation, favor with the mutual relationship, money, opportunities et al. this I believe is one big reason why people tend to behave unpleasantly toward irresponsible people. Besides not wanting to be publicly associated with such people, this is a capital reason for the disfavor battering many people today.

Are your closest relationships complaining about certain attitudes, tendencies, habits or behavior in you? Those may very well be your final dosage of favor. Your refusal to adjust may be costing them so much – much more than you could think. And it will definitely affect their relationship with you. Folks who live irresponsibly never take into consideration how their irresponsibility is affecting the people closest to them. They are just so selfishly living life as though they are alone in this world. If you are in a situation where people don’t seem to like you, you need to examine yourself if you are really living responsibly. If you are guilty in this respect, you will do well to make adjustments pretty fast. Don’t think for a moment that despite your irresponsible lifestyle, they will have pity on you in your time of trouble; you will be at the brink of utmost ruin before you find a life saver. So the earlier you adjust the better.

Law 6: Discontentment

A discontent soul is a maniac. Like a raging flame, a discontent man or woman keeps looking for more at whatever cost; even if it means losing what one already has. A good number of extra-marital affairs are rooted in this silent but deadly plague. Discontentment says, “I don’t appreciate what I have. It is not good enough, it is not enough, I need more!” Discontentment is twin to greed. In fact, they one and same. Discontent people look down on what they have, trod on it, and go out in search of what they believe will satisfy their craving. At the end of the day, they realize they have only been foolish. After losing what they truly had for what only offered short-lived pleasure, they nurse the regret and pain that comes with loss.

Fundamentally, anybody with corroded set of values finds it difficult to be contented with what they have. In marriage, men are advised to “let her breasts satisfy you always” meaning that there is a natural and common tendency for you to not be satisfied and want another or more. That tells that there is a conscious effort involved in contentment. You have to intentionally “let that thing you have” satisfy you. How you feel notwithstanding, give yourself no other option. When those around us notice discontentment in us, they naturally get turned off which births disfavor for us. Discontentment usually and will always bring disfavor. The heavy question is: Are you discontent with something you have?

Check yourself and be honest in your evaluation.

Take advantage of my e-book, HOW TO GET ALONG WELL WITH ANYBODY, for a limited offer of $10 with a free gift set of three 5 minutes excerpts from my audio book HorsePower. Order while offer lasts. To order for the e-book, send me an e-mail to iconcoach@gmail.com.

Your comments, personal experiences and observations are welcome.

To your effectiveness,

Adeleke David (Mr. Effectiveness)

 

 

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WHAT TO DO WHEN PEOPLE DON’T SEEM TO LIKE YOU

Human beings were created for association, not for isolation.

No one can function at his highest level of potential alone. I have said over the years that “you need at least one person to be invincible” and I have not changed my mind about that. hate If you find yourself in a situation where people don’t seem to like you, then you are in real big trouble! Besides the loneliness, your potentials are extremely limited and you can be easily attacked by discouragement and bitterness which strike the health with cancer and ulcers. The downsides are too costly for any one.

The bitter truth you should know is this: You have activated DISFAVOR!

By an action, a careless word or a negative thought, you have set yourself up for disfavor. I have watched many individuals unconsciously create their negative circumstances, only to begin to wonder what went wrong. They do not realize that they are the architect of their own misfortunes. A wise man said, “We cannot solve problems thinking at the same level we were when we created it.” If you don’t change your thinking about what you are going through, it may be totally impossible to get out of it. It was Napoleon Hill who said, “Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds,” meaning you can never get past your mind.

I want to share with you the LAWS OF DISFAVOR I recently discovered while observing the people around me. They explain why people who liked you before just suddenly changed in their disposition toward you, and they will show you what to do to get back on favorable terms.

Law 1: Nonchalance

Studies have shown that people who put a nonchalant attitude most of the time get a corresponding indifferent disposition from others. It may be that you have been too engrossed in your own personal matters that you have become insensitive to the people around you. In some cases, the nonchalance is intentional especially when there has recently been a misunderstanding between you and the other party or people. Differences are common but living with it is destructive to profitable relationships. This can be very painful when the nonchalance is coming from a family member; and I think this is very common. Don’t treat family members like they are irrelevant. Accord them some regard befitting of their contributions to your life in time past.

Law 2: Deceit

Do you lie? Lying is not a casual thing as many people try to rationalize it. Lying is an expression of fear or insecurity. Most people lie because they are scared of the attendant consequences, while others lie because they are inadequate in their self – low self-esteem. When the people around you have labeled you as deceptive, it affects their ability to be favorable toward you. Some folks act so cunning that they are cheaply exposed; but their refusal to admit that they have been exposed makes matters worse. When a person acts like he is smarter than everyone else, all for his own selfish interest, those around him get put off along with their disposition toward him.

Law 3: Arrogance

Arrogant is prerequisite for a rickety experience with others. People who are too full of themselves experience disfavor in great measures. They become unbearable to others, unapproachable and repellant. Most amazingly, they don’t know because they are on their high horse. Arrogant people live in isolation, and they do not realize it until they are struck by some unpleasant experiences that expose their need for support. Among the common things that trigger arrogance in people are money, fame, success, promotion, social association, power and upbringing. Arrogance is always already in the person simply looking for an opportunity for expression. History is rich with these set of people; talk about King Nebuchadnezzar of ancient Babylon, King Uzziah of ancient Israel etc. Nobody likes an arrogant person, and no one finds it easy to bring it to their notice that they have become arrogant because it always turns out to be received as a confrontation. You know, arrogant people believe that they are always right, and spot on; that to their foolishness. I will leave you with these three for now. In my next post on WHAT TO DO WHEN PEOPLE DON’T SEEM TO LIKE YOU, I will share another set of three laws of disfavor.

I encourage you to take a self assessment using these three laws I have shared with you. Remember that the illiterate of the 21st century is not the man who cannot read nor write but he is the one who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn. Bob Taylor quipped, “…inspiration is easy. Implementation is the hard part.” See to it that you work yourself through these first three laws of disfavor.

Take advantage of my e-book, HOW TO GET ALONG WELL WITH ANYBODY, for a limited offer of $10 with a free gift set of three 5 minutes excerpts from my audio book HorsePower. Order while offer lasts. To order for the e-book, send me an e-mail to iconcoach@gmail.com.

Your comments, personal experiences and observations are welcome.

To your effectiveness,

Adeleke David (Mr. Effectiveness)